We take the first step!

So the day was finally here.  We were really moving to Scotland.  I woke up that day shaking.  It was the kind of shaking you do when it is Christmas morning and you can't wait to see what Santa brought you the night before, but this shaking was not really excitement...it was anxiety and fear. 

What in the world was I thinking?  Did I really think we could do this?  What on earth is a small town Texas girl going to do in Scotland?  The many doubts rolled around in my head.. What will Denman EAT?  How will I be able to even talk to everyone from across the OCEAN?  How on EARTH will I learn to drive over there?  What will we do all day while Rusty is at work?  How will we survive with just one car?  What sports will the kids play?  And the list goes ON and ON!

Not to mention while all of this is going on in my head, I am having to tell a precious sad seven year old and a confused four year old, it will be great.  You will love it!  It is going to hurt at first, but it will get better I promise...Did I really MEAN that?  Natalie could see right through me so we just held each other and cried together.  She is JUST like me.   She wants to make everyone around her feel better while she feels destroyed on the inside...only this time, I couldn't even do that.  I just let the tears go and tried so hard to help Rusty when he asked me questions or needed to know something about the luggage.

And this is why he had a few questions about what needs to go where. :)

Thanks to Michelle the luggage delivery went GREAT in Houston.  I'm so glad that see you later had to be quick because I was VERY close to telling her..."Please, just take us back home!"  I don't know that I have ever felt that much pain and hurt at one time.  God puts people into our lives to see HIS world through HIS eyes.  It is Michelle who would always bring out HIS view of the situation.  She kept telling me through this entire process, He has a bigger plan in mind.  I just have to be human and say it better be HUGE because walking away from Michelle that day was like leaving my twin sister behind. 

When I make friends, they become my family.  I don't know how to just love a little and move on.  I'm not sure if I would call that a gift or not, but I do know because of the many friendships in my life, I now know what it means to love with your whole heart. I love this saying "True friendship isn't about being inseparable, its being separated and nothing changes."  So don't EVER hesitate to meet someone on the street, in line at the grocery store, or at a park with your kiddos.  That one conversation could be a lifelong friendship that was meant to help you through your own walk of faith.

As we headed into the airport, we called our parents to let them know we were about to board the plane.  We all fought back tears while we were on the phone and just held each other as we went to find our gate.  We all know great things will come from this move but the pain is so hard to overcome.  I kept remembering a prayer that I said that year during a woman's conference that Donna invited me to.  Use me Lord, I am ready to be your disciple and not just a follower.  I will follow you forever, but use me, teach me.  And then I opened up a book that Becky Carpenter gave me before I left to write down a few things that kept coming to my mind.   At the bottom of the book was a scripture that read... I heard the voice of the Lord saying,  "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" and Then I said. "Here I am, Send me!"  Isaiah 6:8  I then could breathe without tears falling down my face.  I took out my camera and started to take pictures of my precious family who were ready to go and take this "Walk in Faith."

Now that my eyes were open again I began to see God's winks all over the place.  The flight attendant that we had that day was the same flight attendant that we had on our trip over to do the "Look and See".  She was the sweetest person ever.  As soon as she came and introduced herself and to meet the kiddos,  Rusty looked back and me and just smiled.  I was then ready to take on this 9 hour plane ride.  I truly felt like God had just wrapped His arms around me and said, see I told you it would be ok. 

Not real sure how this one happened, but Rusty sat with Natalie,

And I sat with Denman and Bevo...SERIOUSLY!! I think he knows I do not like that "longhorn".

They did GREAT!  Natalie and Rusty were asleep right after they served dinner.  We on the other hand, built three legos, watched Happy Feet 2, and then had to work on the lego sticker book before Denman decided to take a "nap".  He slept all the way until we got to London.  I used that time to cry and pray.  Natalie kept coming back and giving me to best hugs ever.  She keeps asking, Why does it hurt so much momma?  I just tell her when we really love someone it will hurt when we leave them, but the joy that we will feel when we see them next time will make up for all of our hurt.  Now if I can just apply that to me we will be in business. :)

Now plane ride two was not that great!  We were all exhausted and ready to be at our FINAL destination.  It was only 45 minutes but the three security lines that we had to go through to get there almost made us late and the kids were just DONE after that. 

We arrived in Aberdeen to find lots of rain and wind.  It took some strategy to get all of our luggage to the hotel, but thankfully Rusty is a planner and had it all worked out when we got there.  They actually have van taxis here.  So, it took our luggage while Rusty drove all of us to the hotel.  I must say that this time I actually watched as he drove on the wrong side of the road.  Our first experience with his driving was not that great.  He told me he saw my teacher face when I told him we would be taking a taxi for the rest of our "Look and See trip."

Natalie poses as we wait for our taxi in Aberdeen!

Denman wanted to lay down or play hide and seek.  He was DONE!

So here we are in Aberdeen ready to make this move official.  As we drove to the hotel I just kept praying for God to heal my brokenness and open my eyes to this amazing country.  One day at a time, one mountain at a time, we can do this!

We thank you, Lord for blessings

You give us on our way;

May we for these be grateful,

And praise You EVERY day.